I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
