i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
