dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think your dad took our porno
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
