I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
