I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
