You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Houston, we have a blender
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
