Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
