Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.

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(850): View more from Florida

you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.

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(310): View more from California

He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family

(812): View more from Indiana

Not even marginally surprised

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer

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(419): View more from Ohio

Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities

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(907): View more from Alaska

Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.

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