dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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