MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
