so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
