You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
