You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
