before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
