As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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