if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
