Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
