What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
