Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it

Fav 66 1167 4508
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(631): View more from New York

the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama

Fav 32 978 3581
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(817): View more from Texas

He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

Fav 25 1151 7553
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.

Fav 33 4472 1239
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

Fav 6 2808 1215
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.

Fav 3 4031 1240
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(678): View more from Georgia

Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

Fav 11 2576 847
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(815): View more from Illinois

To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day

Fav 2 550 659
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(519): View more from Ontario

The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.

Fav 4 482 417
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