yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
