Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
