im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
