I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
