VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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