naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
