DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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