yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
