oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
