Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
