I heard we made out
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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