Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
