I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
