It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
