I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
