Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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