Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
