I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
