I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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