My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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