it hurts more in the daytime
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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