I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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