i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
