Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
