I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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