I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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