I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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