people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
