Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
