I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize