i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
