therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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