Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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