Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Two words: nipple clamps
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