is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize