Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
