The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize