it hurts more in the daytime
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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