He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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