check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
