i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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