your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
