note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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