It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
