My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
