like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
