i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
