do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
