the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
