Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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