I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
