I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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